Well today I signed my baby up for church camp. Sigh, she's getting older which unfortunately means I am too! I know she will have a great time, and it's only for two and a half days, but the mom in me is gonna miss her. I never went to camp as a kid, but when I worked at McDonough Christian Church I did go as a counselor (I guess that's what you'd call it) and had as much fun as the kids! I know Lilly will play, learn, laugh and grow closer to God through it.
So my question is this, do you have a hard time letting your children grow up? Are there milestones that when they hit them, you had to acknowledge the fact that they're growing up? The days of Lilly wanting to sit and snuggle are long gone, that was one for me. When she no longer wanted to just sit with me and watch cartoons (which I love). Her first day of public school was tough for me too. For her K3, K4 and Kindergarten years, I worked at the same school she went to, so she was just down the hall from my classroom. Her entry into public school was the first time I was unable to walk down the hall and peek in her classroom if I wanted to (not that I did that when we were at MCA but the opportunity was there).
Anyways, that's what's going through my mind today as we approach summer. What's going on in your world?
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Moms make the world go round
I hope all my friends and readers had as great a Mother's Day as I did. Today was spent with the best husband ever, my beautiful daughter, my mother in law and my aunt. Chris made a wonderful breakfast this morning and an amazing dinner complete with steak, shrimp and yummy veggies on the grill. And he made a German chocolate cake! How's that for awesome?!
I think today marks a milestone for me. This was the first Mother's Day where I shed no tears over the loss of Mom. Granted, I cried my eyes out Thursday watching the Buffy episode where her Mom died but still, making it through today with no tears is an accomplishment!
Hope you all had a great weekend and I'll talk to ya soon! God bless you all :)
I think today marks a milestone for me. This was the first Mother's Day where I shed no tears over the loss of Mom. Granted, I cried my eyes out Thursday watching the Buffy episode where her Mom died but still, making it through today with no tears is an accomplishment!
Hope you all had a great weekend and I'll talk to ya soon! God bless you all :)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Stop! Coupon time!
Recently a friend and I went to a coupon class. We learned the basics of saving money by buying things on sale, using coupons and stockpiling items when they are at their lowest price. I never would have thought it would be something I could do, but here I am... and blogging about it too! I just totaled up what I have spent and saved so far this month and was amazed at how well I'm doing. Sure, there are plenty of other people waaay better at it than me, but I'm still pretty darn excited.
I'll share with you some of my victories. To date this month, I have bought $694 of groceries and have paid $312. That's a savings of $382!! I'll tell ya, so far my favorite place to shop has been Publix. I have found that when you shop their BOGO (Buy one get one free) specials and factor in coupons, that is where you will get the best deal. I have also shopped some at Ingles, but my savings are not nearly as good when I go there. Prior to couponing I NEVER shopped at Publix. I always assumed it was more expensive, I couldn't have been more wrong. It has quickly become my absolute favorite place to shop.
I am by no means an expert, and I hope to get better and better with each shopping trip, but for now, I am pleased to be able to save what I am. It kind of makes feel better about being a SAHM. I feel like I am "earning my keep" in a sense. What I am saving is almost equivalent to a part time job, and the effort I have to put forth is so little in comparison to the benefits! Some of my favorite websites to help me find deals are www.couponmom.com and www.southernsavers.com. I have also recently discovered www.iheartpublix.com thanks to my cousin!
Coupons are no longer a thing of the past, or something only poor people do. It's a great way for everyone, in this crappy economy to save a little cash. Hey maybe what you can save could pay for a much needed vacation. Who wouldn't do a little extra work on their grocery list to enjoy a week on a beautiful beach somewhere?? Anyways, thats my $0.02 about coupons :) Good luck and happy saving!!
I'll share with you some of my victories. To date this month, I have bought $694 of groceries and have paid $312. That's a savings of $382!! I'll tell ya, so far my favorite place to shop has been Publix. I have found that when you shop their BOGO (Buy one get one free) specials and factor in coupons, that is where you will get the best deal. I have also shopped some at Ingles, but my savings are not nearly as good when I go there. Prior to couponing I NEVER shopped at Publix. I always assumed it was more expensive, I couldn't have been more wrong. It has quickly become my absolute favorite place to shop.
I am by no means an expert, and I hope to get better and better with each shopping trip, but for now, I am pleased to be able to save what I am. It kind of makes feel better about being a SAHM. I feel like I am "earning my keep" in a sense. What I am saving is almost equivalent to a part time job, and the effort I have to put forth is so little in comparison to the benefits! Some of my favorite websites to help me find deals are www.couponmom.com and www.southernsavers.com. I have also recently discovered www.iheartpublix.com thanks to my cousin!
Coupons are no longer a thing of the past, or something only poor people do. It's a great way for everyone, in this crappy economy to save a little cash. Hey maybe what you can save could pay for a much needed vacation. Who wouldn't do a little extra work on their grocery list to enjoy a week on a beautiful beach somewhere?? Anyways, thats my $0.02 about coupons :) Good luck and happy saving!!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
It's almost Easter again
I'm in a small group Bible study that meets in our home Sunday nights. We are all people that God has brought together through one way or another; a previous church, work, our kids are friends, you get the point. We are studying the book of John and have made it all the way to the final chapters involving Jesus' trial, crucifixion and resurrection. In 17, Jesus sets gives us an example of how to pray. He begins by praying for Himself, then prays for the disciples, then for future believers in His name. Chapter 18 we start to see the actions which will lead us up to the Resurrection.
As I read, listen to music, or watch a movie, I can always feel like I'm there. The feelings I get when studying Jesus' trial and death are overwhelming sadness. I know the outcome. It's not like the first time I watched The Sixth Sense and was completely taken aback by the twist (I won't give it away for the 17 people in the world who haven't seen it). I know that "Joy comes in the morning". But my heart still aches for the emotional and physical pain that He endured for me on the cross. Earlier in my walk, I would also feel the accompanying guilt, knowing that it is my sin that put Him there.
I think (on most days) I have fully accepted Jesus' forgiveness for those things. Sure, the enemy tries to bring up my past mistakes and heck, even the ones I made just today. But for the most part I can accept that my sins have been cast into the ocean, and are remembered no more by God. But even without that guilt, I still just feel so bad for what He had to go through. John 15:13 says "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." WOW. To be called a child of God, and a friend! What an amazing gift of which none of us is worthy.
Chapter 19 details His interaction with Pilate and His actual death. I remember the first time I saw "The Passion of the Christ". Such a vivid retelling of the event. Historically and Biblically accurate in regards to the "the punishment that brought us peace". My heart broke as I watched the events unfold on the big screen. I couldn't control the tears that flowed freely down my cheeks. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Sure, ole Mel has lost his marbles as of late, but that does not negate the good that came from the filming of that movie.
Anyways, theres an update on what's running through my mind as we approach Easter. What's on yours?
As I read, listen to music, or watch a movie, I can always feel like I'm there. The feelings I get when studying Jesus' trial and death are overwhelming sadness. I know the outcome. It's not like the first time I watched The Sixth Sense and was completely taken aback by the twist (I won't give it away for the 17 people in the world who haven't seen it). I know that "Joy comes in the morning". But my heart still aches for the emotional and physical pain that He endured for me on the cross. Earlier in my walk, I would also feel the accompanying guilt, knowing that it is my sin that put Him there.
I think (on most days) I have fully accepted Jesus' forgiveness for those things. Sure, the enemy tries to bring up my past mistakes and heck, even the ones I made just today. But for the most part I can accept that my sins have been cast into the ocean, and are remembered no more by God. But even without that guilt, I still just feel so bad for what He had to go through. John 15:13 says "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." WOW. To be called a child of God, and a friend! What an amazing gift of which none of us is worthy.
Chapter 19 details His interaction with Pilate and His actual death. I remember the first time I saw "The Passion of the Christ". Such a vivid retelling of the event. Historically and Biblically accurate in regards to the "the punishment that brought us peace". My heart broke as I watched the events unfold on the big screen. I couldn't control the tears that flowed freely down my cheeks. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Sure, ole Mel has lost his marbles as of late, but that does not negate the good that came from the filming of that movie.
Anyways, theres an update on what's running through my mind as we approach Easter. What's on yours?
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
'Fess up
Welp, here goes...
I admit it.
I am a baby.
For all my efforts to be a grown up; there are times (more frequent than I care to mention) when I would much rather be a child. Maybe it's because my own childhood sucked. Ask me about it one day, we can talk over coffee and compare sob stories.Maybe it's because I long for days filled with nothing but Scooby Doo and scrambled eggs. Mmm, I could go for some cheesy scrambled eggs right about now. Perhaps it's because responsibility can be overwhelming and relationships can be messy. Reasoning aside, when it comes down to it, adulthood isn't all it's cracked up to be.
I hear my daughter say she wishes she was a grown up and I remember saying that exact thing. Now what I wouldn't give to go back to the days when Mom would brush my hair as she blow dried it in the living room. She would sit on the couch and I in the floor in front of her. It seemed like such a simple thing; but over the past few days I have wistfully thought about her, the scent of shampoo and the gentle feathering she would do to my hair as she dried it.
So there ya have it. A grown woman who desperately longs to be in the arms of her mother, but won't get that this side of eternity.
I admit it.
I am a baby.
For all my efforts to be a grown up; there are times (more frequent than I care to mention) when I would much rather be a child. Maybe it's because my own childhood sucked. Ask me about it one day, we can talk over coffee and compare sob stories.Maybe it's because I long for days filled with nothing but Scooby Doo and scrambled eggs. Mmm, I could go for some cheesy scrambled eggs right about now. Perhaps it's because responsibility can be overwhelming and relationships can be messy. Reasoning aside, when it comes down to it, adulthood isn't all it's cracked up to be.
I hear my daughter say she wishes she was a grown up and I remember saying that exact thing. Now what I wouldn't give to go back to the days when Mom would brush my hair as she blow dried it in the living room. She would sit on the couch and I in the floor in front of her. It seemed like such a simple thing; but over the past few days I have wistfully thought about her, the scent of shampoo and the gentle feathering she would do to my hair as she dried it.
So there ya have it. A grown woman who desperately longs to be in the arms of her mother, but won't get that this side of eternity.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
TNT (Triumph n Therapy)
So I breathed a long drawn out sigh of relief when that 30 day thing was over. I don't think I can fully express how confining and maddening it was for me. To restrict myself like that was a bit like sticking a live butterfly in one of those cases for displaying dead butterflies. I was completely out of my element. I tend to ramble and really embrace the stream of consciousness that flows throughout myself and that really made me stick to a topic. But I had to do it! Think of it this way... This scene in Nanny Mcphee Returns about sums it up. I had to keep it up, but really wanted to quit. I think for me it was a bit cathartic, to open up and share some things about myself that I would usually rather have kept hidden.
Do you have those things? The thoughts and memories that lurk in the darkest corner of your mind that you would just as soon have them disappear? For a long time I struggled with guilt over what happened to me as a child. I remember talking to the police and saying over and over again "I regret it". I was 9, what control did I have?? None! Now that it is all out in the open for the few who read my blog, I feel like all the cards are on the table.
I have been in therapy on several occasions, both as a child and an adult. As a child I learned how to say what needed to be said in order to make it through life. Pay attention to how they phrase the question, hear the inflection in their voice and you can figure how you're supposed to answer. So that's what I did, and I did it well. Later in my teen years, same experience, different counselors. I also went through some grief counseling after my mother passed away, because man, that hit hard. Finally, I went through Trauma Resolution Therapy (TRT).
This was a different approach to therapy altogether. Instead of talking about whatever trivial things I was coping with in my daily life, I went to the root of the problem. I wrote out the memories, painful ones (that have not been blocked out) and read them aloud. Then I dissected them as I did that cat in high school (for Anatomy, not because I'm a sadist or serial killer in training). I identified the differences in how good families treat one another and how I was treated and how that affects me even to this day in how I handle situations. I have not forgotten the past, nor should I, but the moments of being blindsided by a flashback are fewer and farther between. It is still a journey with myself and God. I know that together, we can accomplish anything.
So there you have it. More rawness revealed, and more glory to God for His redemptive work in my life. It is an ongoing thing for all of us. This blog is kind of a journal documenting where I go, what I feel and how God moves in me and through me. Thanks for coming alongside me in my journey!
Do you have those things? The thoughts and memories that lurk in the darkest corner of your mind that you would just as soon have them disappear? For a long time I struggled with guilt over what happened to me as a child. I remember talking to the police and saying over and over again "I regret it". I was 9, what control did I have?? None! Now that it is all out in the open for the few who read my blog, I feel like all the cards are on the table.
I have been in therapy on several occasions, both as a child and an adult. As a child I learned how to say what needed to be said in order to make it through life. Pay attention to how they phrase the question, hear the inflection in their voice and you can figure how you're supposed to answer. So that's what I did, and I did it well. Later in my teen years, same experience, different counselors. I also went through some grief counseling after my mother passed away, because man, that hit hard. Finally, I went through Trauma Resolution Therapy (TRT).
This was a different approach to therapy altogether. Instead of talking about whatever trivial things I was coping with in my daily life, I went to the root of the problem. I wrote out the memories, painful ones (that have not been blocked out) and read them aloud. Then I dissected them as I did that cat in high school (for Anatomy, not because I'm a sadist or serial killer in training). I identified the differences in how good families treat one another and how I was treated and how that affects me even to this day in how I handle situations. I have not forgotten the past, nor should I, but the moments of being blindsided by a flashback are fewer and farther between. It is still a journey with myself and God. I know that together, we can accomplish anything.
So there you have it. More rawness revealed, and more glory to God for His redemptive work in my life. It is an ongoing thing for all of us. This blog is kind of a journal documenting where I go, what I feel and how God moves in me and through me. Thanks for coming alongside me in my journey!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
30 DOT Day 30!!!!!
A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Dear Melissa,
First off, I love that you actually completed this 30 day thing! You really surprised me and I'm proud of you. I can't believe it's finally over. This was especially challenging, because not only did the frequency make you feel creatively restrained, but the fact that they were all guided and you had to stay on topic.
I love that you know how to have fun, your carefree spirit and willingness to laugh at yourself. Many people take themselves to seriously and you don't fall into that trap. I love that you say what you mean without trying to be mean. I love that you put God first in your life even when it is uncomfortable. I love that you can be a leader without being a complete jack wagon! Too often those who claim to be leaders are total jerks and unapologetic about it. At least when you get jerky (because it happens to all of us sometimes) you almost always apologize and most likely didn't mean it that way.
I love that you try without giving up. Even if something seems impossible, you are willing to take a shot at it and see what happens. I love that today's entry was one of the hardest for you to write because of your humility.
Dear Melissa,
First off, I love that you actually completed this 30 day thing! You really surprised me and I'm proud of you. I can't believe it's finally over. This was especially challenging, because not only did the frequency make you feel creatively restrained, but the fact that they were all guided and you had to stay on topic.
I love that you know how to have fun, your carefree spirit and willingness to laugh at yourself. Many people take themselves to seriously and you don't fall into that trap. I love that you say what you mean without trying to be mean. I love that you put God first in your life even when it is uncomfortable. I love that you can be a leader without being a complete jack wagon! Too often those who claim to be leaders are total jerks and unapologetic about it. At least when you get jerky (because it happens to all of us sometimes) you almost always apologize and most likely didn't mean it that way.
I love that you try without giving up. Even if something seems impossible, you are willing to take a shot at it and see what happens. I love that today's entry was one of the hardest for you to write because of your humility.
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