Something you hate about yourself.
Wow, nice one for the first day, right? I could take the obvious and go with my weight (cos really who doesn't hate theirs) but I think I will dig a little more and see what else there is.
I guess I would have to say, I hate that I try to push away those who care most about me, mainly my husband. I think this is partly because I haven't seen marriage last forever, so I guess I don't expect mine to. Inside there is this part of me that tries to sabotage the great thing I have going for me with my husband. There are probably still some subconscious Dad issues that no matter how hard I try to get rid of, they still linger as well (more on that another day).
But as for my husband; he is truly the best man I have ever met, and if you know me, you know he must have the patience of Job. I am blessed beyond what I could ever deserve and still sometimes forget to appreciate it.
This is the song that we used to listen to all the time at Waffle House (yeah thats where a lot of our dates were), which then became the first song we danced to at our wedding. Which is odd because neither of us like country music in general. Rambling aside, that is definitely something I hate about myself.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
30 Days of truth
A friend of mine is doing this on her blog and I thought I might get in on the action. We'll see if I have the perseverance to do it all the way through. To try to stick with it, I have already titled each days entry hopefully making it easier for me to go the distance.
Bear in mind that these are all my opinions, from my life and experiences. If you don't like what I have to say, feel free to not read, it won't hurt my feelings :)
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you badly.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Bear in mind that these are all my opinions, from my life and experiences. If you don't like what I have to say, feel free to not read, it won't hurt my feelings :)
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you badly.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Yeah, my God can do that!
Disclaimer: Okay folks, this one might be controversial.
Every woman I know dreads the yearly event where an almost complete stranger delves into their nether regions for a Pap smear. Some more than others I'm sure, but I doubt anyone gets all "Woohoo!" about it. Well it has been three years since my last one. Many of my friends have gently encouraged me to get it done. Which I did last week and all is well, Praise God! But here's why I put it off for so long.
About three years ago I made the appointment. I go in for what I assume will be a nominally uncomfortable procedure and plan to go about my merry way once it's done. Wrongo! I was in for an emotional roller coaster. During the exam, my doctor found a lump in my breast. When she said that I felt a lump of another kind rising up in my throat. Immediately my mind begins to race and a million questions and worries take their turn causing my heart to skip a beat. My mother had breast cancer. She went through chemo and radiation as ordered by a doctor which naturally made her as sick as a dog. I see flashes of her as her hair starts to come out. I see her in pain, bald and brave and wonder do I have what it takes to go though all that too?
My doctor scheduled a double breast ultrasound for the following week. The days following this finding I was a nervous wreck. I would constantly feel the lump wondering what it was and how it would change my life. I had a small child to take care of. How on Earth would I be able to do that knowing the damage that cancer treatments do to your body? I was already a Christian at this point and knew that I should just give it to God and He would take care of it for me, but I couldn't keep my mind from wandering.
Fast forward to the Sunday night before my ultrasound. Chris, Lilly and I go to our small group Bible study. This is the group of people we were doing life with. People who loved us, prayed for us, and were really more family than friends. We do our usual Bible study and at the end comes time for praises and prayer requests. Boy did I have a doozy. I explained the situation through tears of worry. One of our leaders suggests everyone gather around me, lay hands on me and pray. They sat me in a chair in the middle of the room and everyone came around me, placing their hands on my back and shoulders. Some were knelt in front of me with their hands on my knees. As each member took their turn praying for me, I could literally feel the Holy Spirit in the room with us. We parted ways that night and I began to mentally prepare myself for the coming test.
The nest day was the ultrasound and I was still nervous. Chris and I went together to the hospital and he waited outside for me. The technician began to pass the x ray scanny thingie (I'm pretty sure that's the technical term) over each breast, taking pictures as she went. It felt like it took ages although in reality it was only a few minutes. I'm not sure if she knew where she was supposed to be seeing something because she asked me where the lump was. I point to the place that was by this point sore because I had been messing with it so much. She continues to scan. When she is finally done she says "I'm not trained to read these, I just take them. But I don't see a thing".
It took a few moments to register what she had just said. I knew there was something there, I had felt it with my own hands. But now miraculously I couldn't feel a thing. I don't know the exact moment it left my body but I do know there was something in my breast and now miraculously it was gone!! I still had to wait for the official results but when they did come in they verified that there was nothing there to be seen. God had completely removed the lump. Where it went I didn't know and didn't care, it just was no longer inside me!
So there is my tale of the supernatural power of God. I have seen Him work in so many ways that defy explanation and that's just one. I have told friends about my experience, but here I have an opportunity to reach many more ears (or eyes). Feel free to share my story with anyone you like. I am a walking testimony to the healing power of Jesus Christ.
I am such a fool for Him!
Every woman I know dreads the yearly event where an almost complete stranger delves into their nether regions for a Pap smear. Some more than others I'm sure, but I doubt anyone gets all "Woohoo!" about it. Well it has been three years since my last one. Many of my friends have gently encouraged me to get it done. Which I did last week and all is well, Praise God! But here's why I put it off for so long.
About three years ago I made the appointment. I go in for what I assume will be a nominally uncomfortable procedure and plan to go about my merry way once it's done. Wrongo! I was in for an emotional roller coaster. During the exam, my doctor found a lump in my breast. When she said that I felt a lump of another kind rising up in my throat. Immediately my mind begins to race and a million questions and worries take their turn causing my heart to skip a beat. My mother had breast cancer. She went through chemo and radiation as ordered by a doctor which naturally made her as sick as a dog. I see flashes of her as her hair starts to come out. I see her in pain, bald and brave and wonder do I have what it takes to go though all that too?
My doctor scheduled a double breast ultrasound for the following week. The days following this finding I was a nervous wreck. I would constantly feel the lump wondering what it was and how it would change my life. I had a small child to take care of. How on Earth would I be able to do that knowing the damage that cancer treatments do to your body? I was already a Christian at this point and knew that I should just give it to God and He would take care of it for me, but I couldn't keep my mind from wandering.
Fast forward to the Sunday night before my ultrasound. Chris, Lilly and I go to our small group Bible study. This is the group of people we were doing life with. People who loved us, prayed for us, and were really more family than friends. We do our usual Bible study and at the end comes time for praises and prayer requests. Boy did I have a doozy. I explained the situation through tears of worry. One of our leaders suggests everyone gather around me, lay hands on me and pray. They sat me in a chair in the middle of the room and everyone came around me, placing their hands on my back and shoulders. Some were knelt in front of me with their hands on my knees. As each member took their turn praying for me, I could literally feel the Holy Spirit in the room with us. We parted ways that night and I began to mentally prepare myself for the coming test.
The nest day was the ultrasound and I was still nervous. Chris and I went together to the hospital and he waited outside for me. The technician began to pass the x ray scanny thingie (I'm pretty sure that's the technical term) over each breast, taking pictures as she went. It felt like it took ages although in reality it was only a few minutes. I'm not sure if she knew where she was supposed to be seeing something because she asked me where the lump was. I point to the place that was by this point sore because I had been messing with it so much. She continues to scan. When she is finally done she says "I'm not trained to read these, I just take them. But I don't see a thing".
It took a few moments to register what she had just said. I knew there was something there, I had felt it with my own hands. But now miraculously I couldn't feel a thing. I don't know the exact moment it left my body but I do know there was something in my breast and now miraculously it was gone!! I still had to wait for the official results but when they did come in they verified that there was nothing there to be seen. God had completely removed the lump. Where it went I didn't know and didn't care, it just was no longer inside me!
So there is my tale of the supernatural power of God. I have seen Him work in so many ways that defy explanation and that's just one. I have told friends about my experience, but here I have an opportunity to reach many more ears (or eyes). Feel free to share my story with anyone you like. I am a walking testimony to the healing power of Jesus Christ.
I am such a fool for Him!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Why I don't wear crucifixes (or Hey, Jesus get down off of that cross)
You've probably seen them before, those big and overly ornate crosses in churches. You may even have one in your own home. Gilt with gold, maybe some semi precious stones and a good coat of lacquer to give it that sparkly sheen... And there's poor Jesus hanging on it, looking like He just lost His best friend. While they may be beautiful to look at (which even that is debatable in my opinion); since my conversion for lack of better term, they have always bothered me.
They don't bother me because I deny the miracle of His sacrifice for me. I find it completely amazing and quite often overwhelming that He would such a thing for little old me. Not because I am repulsed by the sight of an artists rendition of Him, though I do hate to think of Him suffering because of my mess ups. What I am bothered by is the idea of commemorating the myth that He stayed up there. HE DIDN'T!
He died an unnatural and painful death at the hands of His accusers on behalf of His creation, but He did not stay that way. That's the miracle of the crucifixion and resurrection. It is a fact that Jesus died. His heart stopped beating, His lungs stopped taking in air. But you can't keep a good man down. He lives! He walked the Earth following the brutal death He suffered.
I have often thought "Why don't we wear empty tombs on chains? Or maybe a rock symbolizing the stone that was rolled away." I have seen a flame on a necklace before, symbolizing the Holy Spirit and I really liked that!I do not have disdain for the cross. I have cross necklaces, and I wear them. But you will not find a graven image of Jesus on that cross around my neck. I consider it my personal reminder of His triumph over death. Just some food for thought.
They don't bother me because I deny the miracle of His sacrifice for me. I find it completely amazing and quite often overwhelming that He would such a thing for little old me. Not because I am repulsed by the sight of an artists rendition of Him, though I do hate to think of Him suffering because of my mess ups. What I am bothered by is the idea of commemorating the myth that He stayed up there. HE DIDN'T!
He died an unnatural and painful death at the hands of His accusers on behalf of His creation, but He did not stay that way. That's the miracle of the crucifixion and resurrection. It is a fact that Jesus died. His heart stopped beating, His lungs stopped taking in air. But you can't keep a good man down. He lives! He walked the Earth following the brutal death He suffered.
I have often thought "Why don't we wear empty tombs on chains? Or maybe a rock symbolizing the stone that was rolled away." I have seen a flame on a necklace before, symbolizing the Holy Spirit and I really liked that!I do not have disdain for the cross. I have cross necklaces, and I wear them. But you will not find a graven image of Jesus on that cross around my neck. I consider it my personal reminder of His triumph over death. Just some food for thought.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Snowpocalpyse Now
Holy moly, it has been a long couple of days completely iced in here in Georgia. And to top it all off, my mood suddenly went south, maybe for the winter. Do you ever have that happen? Where things are just trucking along and every thing's fine and then WHAM, grump city? I hate when that happens and I can't explain it. When I get irritable in traffic, it's understandable. If I feel frustrated waiting at the doctor's office, I get it. But now? Nothing is wrong, but my nerves get raw and any little thing can aggravate the crap out of me.
So how do you break that funk? How do you peek through the clouds that loom overhead and see the sun? No really, I'm looking for an answer here.
Well one thing I try to do is think about things to be thankful for. Let's try that.
Today I am thankful for my new Serendipity Bible I got at Lifeway. It is a Bible designed specifically for small groups. It contains discussion questions, reading plans, study lessons and lots more. A friend of mine suggested it and I am so glad I found it. I checked Books-A-Million, but they did not have it, nor could they even order it. I thought that was kind of strange being such a major business. However, the girl working suggested Lifeway and even offered to find the phone number for me which I thought was excellent customer service.
I am also thankful for my brother who I get to see Saturday!! I can't wait. This whole "him living in Florida" thing is tough. We have always been a close knit family. Although growing up I was the mean big sister and he was the annoying little brother, we actually like each other now. I am not digging seeing him only every couple of months. But alas, he and his lovely bride made the decision best for their family, so I will enjoy the time I get with them!
Aww, look a that. A little bit of rambling and I am in a better mood. And you came along for the ride. Most of my blogs I try to have a point, this one.... not so much! See ya later for now, maybe next time I'll have something important to say... or not... we'll see.
So how do you break that funk? How do you peek through the clouds that loom overhead and see the sun? No really, I'm looking for an answer here.
Well one thing I try to do is think about things to be thankful for. Let's try that.
Today I am thankful for my new Serendipity Bible I got at Lifeway. It is a Bible designed specifically for small groups. It contains discussion questions, reading plans, study lessons and lots more. A friend of mine suggested it and I am so glad I found it. I checked Books-A-Million, but they did not have it, nor could they even order it. I thought that was kind of strange being such a major business. However, the girl working suggested Lifeway and even offered to find the phone number for me which I thought was excellent customer service.
I am also thankful for my brother who I get to see Saturday!! I can't wait. This whole "him living in Florida" thing is tough. We have always been a close knit family. Although growing up I was the mean big sister and he was the annoying little brother, we actually like each other now. I am not digging seeing him only every couple of months. But alas, he and his lovely bride made the decision best for their family, so I will enjoy the time I get with them!
Aww, look a that. A little bit of rambling and I am in a better mood. And you came along for the ride. Most of my blogs I try to have a point, this one.... not so much! See ya later for now, maybe next time I'll have something important to say... or not... we'll see.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Lord willin
If you ever met my Nana and spent any length of time talking to her, odds are you would have heard that phrase at least once. I always just thought it was a cute Southern way of saying "Maybe". I'd say "I'll see you for dinner". And her response was "Lord willin". But tonight I had a revelation, where most revelations happen for me... in the bathroom. I decided to begin reading James chapter 4 for next weeks small group discussion. I got all the way to verse 13-16 and BAM! God hit me upside the head (as He has been known to do) with a bit of wisdom from Nana.
"13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. "
All those years, Nana would always say "Lord willin" when making plans for dinner, or family functions or even making the next phone call to check on me. For so long I really paid it no attention, But tonight I realized the importance of those two words. It was more than a catch phrase for her. It was a verbal reminder to herself that her life was in God's hands. It was a daily submission to His will for her life. She knew that the One who created her, had ordained all the days of her life and she understood the importance of not allowing her own plans to interfere with that.
Those two simple words that always flew right under my radar, tonight suddenly had new meaning. I had always known my Nana to be a firm believer in the Lord. I knew that she and Jesus were BFFs. I asked her once what the most important day of her life was, she without hesitation answered "The day I accepted Christ". But I never understood the discipline she had of humbling herself to His will and the dedication that takes.
My Nana has since passed away. And I haven't been able to hear her say that in over a year. But here's the cool part. Her life left an imprint on mine. And now, even after she has gone home, she is still teaching me to be the woman God wants me to be. She lived her life as an example that I will forever be grateful for. God used her words to lay a seed in my heart that tonight began to bloom. All I had to do was turn to His word. His Living Water sparked growth in that seed she planted that lay dormant until now. She lives on in my memories and Lord willin I will see her again!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
On Christmas....
"But what God did about us was this. The Second person in God, the Son, became human Himself: was born into a world as an actual man- a real man of a particular height, with hair of a particular colour, speaking a particular language, weighing so many stone. The Eternal Being, who knows everything, and who created the whole universe, became not only a man but (before that) a baby, and before that a foetus(fetus) inside a Woman's body. If you want to get the hang of it, think how you would like to become a slug or a crab." C.S. Lewis
Okay, so maybe it's weird to start a blog using someone else's words, but Mr. Lewis had a better way with words than your humble blogger.
As Christmas draws near, I think it is important to remember the absolute miracle of why we celebrate. Admittedly, Jesus was actually born sometime in summer, but let's not get caught up in details. Instead, allow yourself to be immersed in the wonder of an all knowing, all powerful God stepping down from His Throne, to become like us. And here's the amazing-ness of it, He did it willingly and out of love!
I find it hard to understand, hard to grasp that God would give up Heaven to become a carpenter. That He would don the robes of a peasant having been the Maker of the finest silk. That He, the Creator of All Things, would allow Himself to be brutally murdered in the place of me.
Every Christmas, I always long for Easter. I know it's silly, to trade Santa for a Bunny, right? But Jesus never told us to remember his birth. He told us to remember his death and resurrection.He instituted Communion for just that reason. I have blogged about this before, but I will summarize my thoughts. Without the death and resurrection of Jesus, Christmas loses it meaning. It is His triumph over death that secures our salvation. I do not say this to belittle His birth, but to emphasize the resurrection.
So as we celebrate the birth the God Child, let us not forget the God Man who died for us.
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